By Nick Coleman
Published November 9th 2006 in Minneapolis Star Tribune
Mike Hatch tripped over his tongue at the finish line and was last seen swigging from a bottle of Old E85 down by the Duluth waterfront. Michele Bachmann, picked by God for Congress (how could mere mortals defy the Almighty?), looked fabulous and shrieked when she won like she had been crowned Miss America and was getting a sparkly tiara.
And Sen. Norm Coleman, happy he isn't up for reelection until 2008, was overheard calling his orthodontist to ask if he could have the gap between his front teeth reinstalled. The old gap made him look like the Democrat he used to be. After Tuesday, it might be smart for him to try to look a bit bluer.
Those are some off-the-cuff observations about the election. Let's look at the roadkill.
She Was A Grand Old Flag Lady: Secretary of State Mary Kiffmeyer, Our Living Flag, was Betsy Ross in reverse. She could take flag bunting and sew it into outfits that made you snap to attention when she passed by. But she differed with folks on what the flag stood for: In public talks (I saw her at a prayer breakfast), she ranted against "separation of church and state," which she called the five "most destructive" words in the English language. In the end, voters played taps on her career and ran a new secretary of state up the flagpole: DFLer Mark Ritchie.
Just Call Him Paw-lucky: Tim Pawlenty eked out another term as governor, and GOP star puffers are readying him for big things. Before they hyperventilate, let's look at the numbers: In 2002, Pawlenty won with 44 percent in a three-way race. (DFLer Roger Moe got 36 percent; Independent Tim Penny got 16.) This year, it was more of a two-man contest, with independent candidate Peter Hutchinson only in single digits. Result? After four years in office, Paw-lucky's percentage jumped (sound fanfare) from 44 to 47 percent. Still a plurality, not a majority. Big whup.
Majority, shmajority: Of the last five statewide elections, only one has ended with a governor picked by a majority of voters (Arne Carlson, 1994, 62 percent). After three straight elections in which no one could gain 50-percent-plus 1, it's time to consider instant runoff voting at the state level. IRV would let voters name a second choice, too, so their second choice could be counted if no one wins a majority on the first go-round. This year, IRV might have made Mike Hatch the first DFLer elected to be governor in 20 years, even after his running mate couldn't answer a question about the importance of the ethanol production known as E85 to Minnesota grain farmers. That fun fact could set up a showdown over IRV: A DFL-run Legislature vs. Forty-seven Percent Pawlenty.
Spoiling to be Spoilers: The Independence Party has begun to give "good government" a bad name. The party called itself "Team Minnesota" but forgot there is no "I" in "team." Peter Hutchinson got an embarrassing 6 percent of the votes in the governor's race, and his statewide total of 141,800 was close to the total received by the LOSING candidate for Hennepin County sheriff, despite the fact many Minnesotans embraced his party's platform. Ol' Hutch can chisel "Finished a Distant Third" on his tombstone, but had no effect on the 2006 election. Except for the spoiler part. The Independence Party is supposed to care about what's best for Minnesota. If so, Hutchinson might have said, "Only one person can win, and it's not me. Please vote for the viable candidate who most favors my platform, Mike Hatch." If just 22,523 Hutchinson voters (16 percent of his total) had voted for Hatch, Hutchinson would be in line for a post in the Hatch administration. Some folks are just too smart for their own good.
Wrong End of the Telescope: After the 2004 election, in which he got 51 percent of the national vote, President Bush claimed he had been given a mandate. After Tuesday's election, in which 55 percent of the voters repudiated that notion by casting ballots for Democratic candidates for the U.S. Senate, the president said it was a "close election." Turn that 'scope around, Mr. President
Rubber Match Ahead: Which side will win two out of three? Election 2008 is just 727 days away. Hold onto your hats.
And Sen. Norm Coleman, happy he isn't up for reelection until 2008, was overheard calling his orthodontist to ask if he could have the gap between his front teeth reinstalled. The old gap made him look like the Democrat he used to be. After Tuesday, it might be smart for him to try to look a bit bluer.
Those are some off-the-cuff observations about the election. Let's look at the roadkill.
She Was A Grand Old Flag Lady: Secretary of State Mary Kiffmeyer, Our Living Flag, was Betsy Ross in reverse. She could take flag bunting and sew it into outfits that made you snap to attention when she passed by. But she differed with folks on what the flag stood for: In public talks (I saw her at a prayer breakfast), she ranted against "separation of church and state," which she called the five "most destructive" words in the English language. In the end, voters played taps on her career and ran a new secretary of state up the flagpole: DFLer Mark Ritchie.
Just Call Him Paw-lucky: Tim Pawlenty eked out another term as governor, and GOP star puffers are readying him for big things. Before they hyperventilate, let's look at the numbers: In 2002, Pawlenty won with 44 percent in a three-way race. (DFLer Roger Moe got 36 percent; Independent Tim Penny got 16.) This year, it was more of a two-man contest, with independent candidate Peter Hutchinson only in single digits. Result? After four years in office, Paw-lucky's percentage jumped (sound fanfare) from 44 to 47 percent. Still a plurality, not a majority. Big whup.
Majority, shmajority: Of the last five statewide elections, only one has ended with a governor picked by a majority of voters (Arne Carlson, 1994, 62 percent). After three straight elections in which no one could gain 50-percent-plus 1, it's time to consider instant runoff voting at the state level. IRV would let voters name a second choice, too, so their second choice could be counted if no one wins a majority on the first go-round. This year, IRV might have made Mike Hatch the first DFLer elected to be governor in 20 years, even after his running mate couldn't answer a question about the importance of the ethanol production known as E85 to Minnesota grain farmers. That fun fact could set up a showdown over IRV: A DFL-run Legislature vs. Forty-seven Percent Pawlenty.
Spoiling to be Spoilers: The Independence Party has begun to give "good government" a bad name. The party called itself "Team Minnesota" but forgot there is no "I" in "team." Peter Hutchinson got an embarrassing 6 percent of the votes in the governor's race, and his statewide total of 141,800 was close to the total received by the LOSING candidate for Hennepin County sheriff, despite the fact many Minnesotans embraced his party's platform. Ol' Hutch can chisel "Finished a Distant Third" on his tombstone, but had no effect on the 2006 election. Except for the spoiler part. The Independence Party is supposed to care about what's best for Minnesota. If so, Hutchinson might have said, "Only one person can win, and it's not me. Please vote for the viable candidate who most favors my platform, Mike Hatch." If just 22,523 Hutchinson voters (16 percent of his total) had voted for Hatch, Hutchinson would be in line for a post in the Hatch administration. Some folks are just too smart for their own good.
Wrong End of the Telescope: After the 2004 election, in which he got 51 percent of the national vote, President Bush claimed he had been given a mandate. After Tuesday's election, in which 55 percent of the voters repudiated that notion by casting ballots for Democratic candidates for the U.S. Senate, the president said it was a "close election." Turn that 'scope around, Mr. President
Rubber Match Ahead: Which side will win two out of three? Election 2008 is just 727 days away. Hold onto your hats.
